<5:09 p.m.> <2005-12-31>

It's new years eve. The rest of the party just went to the local pub. I choose to stay at home. I looked in my "husbands" eyes and saw... well... saw he'd rather I stay at home.
I'm not sure, weather I understand or not. I think I do. He doesn't think it's the right place for me to be right now. HE doesn't believe, he is who he should be, around me, right now. I guess I do. But not when it comes to things like this.... I feel like I'm too young to figure this out. I feel like I should be angry, anoyed, bitter, a child. I'm too young to figure everything out.

what if everything around you isn't quite as it seems... what if all the world you used to know is an elaborate dream.
What if you could look right through the cracks. Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see

Some days - nights - I feel I have to much to say that it hurts. That I could write for hours upon hours. I just don't. I suck it up. It's a shame really.

In a week I'm starting all over. Or so it seems right now.
Eventhough I feel like crap everytime I think about it, I somehow believe it'll be good for me. We'll see.

All the best.

I'm not Dreary.
 

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